Monday, August 2, 2010

Feeling like a failure....

.... but learning to trust God through those times!

 Last week I had  a really rough week serving at the CWC. Part of it was that I was just so busy getting stuff ready for the upcoming CWC family picnic that I just became overwhelmed. I was trying to serve the ladies the best I could and meet their needs but I felt as if I kept falling short of that. I felt as if I cold just never show enough love or enough grace to these ladies that need grace and love poured out on them. There were 2 separate incidents that really took me for a loop. I felt as if I had failed to provide the care that was needed for two guests and yet I didn't know how to fix the problems and wasn't really given tools either.  I also struggled because it seemed like this week that the staff really pushed that I was an intern that didn't know anything. There were a few ocassions where I was given tasks to complete and did so in the manner they were to be done. I would then later be told that it wasn't right and then others were told..."sorry, she is just an intern she doesn't really know anything about our program" Those words hurt because all summer I have been striving to learn from the staff and willing to listen yet at the end of the summer I am just referred to in that manner. Prayer was what I turned to. I realized that yeah I messed up there wasn't anything I could do. God was in control and I have to  learn to trust Him wholeheartedly. 
Please pray for me as I have just over a week left at the CWC. Life is a little stressed right now as I try to wrap  things up and still put the final plans together for the CWC family picnic.

God is good, all the time!
All the time, God is good!

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you but also for them. That is a horrible way to treat anyone, especially someone who is so eager to learn from them. You have all the talents for this calling and more importantly the yieldedness to God. Maybe you have less to learn from them than you thought and more from Him who has gifted and called you - and that is something I know firsthand that you're good at :]

    Can't wait to be down the hall and not states and timezones away!