Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Pondering thoughts

I am sitting in my room right now, supposed to be writing a paper for self-defense, but rather pondering about a lot of things. It has been kind of a stressful day today. I have really been thinking a lot about why I am on 6west. What is my place on this floor? I know that my "official" title is assistant RA on minteam but I want to know my real purpose for being on this specific floor. Who should I be reaching out to? What am I doing wrong with my relationships on the floor? Why do I always end up in the drama? Should I just switch floors to get out of drama? These are the questions that have been running through my mind. I know that God has me here right now for a reason but I just can't pinpoint it right now. I have just been feeling very discouraged lately. I have been praying about these things for a while now and they are really on my heart. Pray for wisdom in the situation and that friendships won't be broken in the process.

More Than Useless...

I chose More Than Useless as the title for my blog because a lot of times I do feel useless in ministry. I feel as if I am not benefiting the kingdom but rather just getting in the way. More Than Useless is a Relient K song that I have loved for years and I really thought it describes my life right now.
I am in my Junior year at Moody but I still feel like I am trying to figure out where I belong and what God wants me to do. Sometimes I feel as if I am useless to ministry while I am here studying but then I am reminded that God has me here for a reason and I can do ministry in whatever comes my way. Ministry is not just my PCM(practical christian ministry) or at church, rather ministry can be right here on the floor where I live or just as I am out and about in the city. I am called to be a light for Christ and minister to those around me. As I start thinking about my internship for next summer, it is my prayer that God will stretch me in this attitude of being More Than Useless where ever I might be.