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Grandma

On Tuesday in the wee hours of the morning my grandma went home to be with Jesus. I am saddened by her death but I rest in fact that I know she is in heaven with her precious Savior.

My Grandma was my biggest supporter and my loudest cheerleader.  From as early in my life that I can remember, she taught me all about Jesus and his love for me. She encouraged me to grow in him and have a personal relationship with my Savior. Not only did she tell me about God's love for my but she demonstrated it in so many ways.  Growing up she taught me how to cook, no bake cookies were my favorite to make with her. Cooking is a way we bonded and how I spent many of Christmas, Summer and multiple other school breaks. Grandma's house was my first home when I came home from the hospital as a baby and then was my second home all growing up. I wanted to be there whenever I could, I can even remember pretending to be sick from school so my dad would drop me off there on his way to work.

When I got accepted to Moody, my Grandma was so proud and she made sure I knew. Every time I came to visit before heading up there, she made sure to tell anyone who happened to wander into her room, including random nurses aids and the maintenance man. When I came home for my first Christmas break from college, Grandma was so worried about the cold Chicago winters, she crocheted me several scarfs and hats. She wanted to make sure I stayed warm in the windy city. Grandma was my biggest supporter while I was at Moody, always checking in on my through email, facebook or a handwritten card. I love getting her comments on my pictures I posted and having to explain to her one of my crazy college expeditions.  After being in Chicago for the majority of the last 5 years, I was so excited to move back to Indy this past summer. I loved that grandma was just 10 minutes up the road and no longer did I only get to see her on holidays and special occasions. Wendy's chili for dinner and talks about life became our thing these last couple months. During my last few visits with grandma, I got the feeling that she was preparing to go home. She made sure to tell me how proud she was of me and that she knew I was doing good work. She even sent me home with things from her room to keep. 

Last Sunday, I went to visit Grandma at Methodist Hospital, little did I know that was the last time I would see her alive. She was in the ICU, not doing well and in a medically induced coma. There were so many tubes and machines hooked up to her, it was a little unbearable for me to see. Not being one who is very comfortable in hospitals in the first place, I was unsure of what to do. Should I talk to her or just sit and be with her? I had no idea of what to do. So I sat and prayed for her for a while and then decided to play some hymns on my phone for her. The last hymn I remember playing and singing to her was, Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus. That time I had, singing that sweet old hymn to her is a moment I will not soon forget. I am so thankful that I had that little bit of time to worship our Savior with Grandma. 

As the words of the sweet hymn go, "Jesus, Jesus, How I trust him, how I've proved him o'er and o'er", My biggest life lesson I've learned from my Grandma is to trust Jesus because throughout her life she trusted him with so much faith and proved him o'er and o'er to me!

Girls Weekend 2012~ Chicago

Reunited and it feels so good...

I got to spend this past weekend with my best friends and it was absolutely delightful! We had so much fun together and I really just loved being with each of them. I was so thankful to have Monday off from work (Happy Columbus Day!!) so I could enjoy the long weekend in my favorite city with my favorite people. 

I drove up to Chicago on Friday night right after I got off work. I met up with the girls downtown Chicago and we got dinner at Chili's. That place holds a lot of memories for us, so it was fun to reminisce and enjoy an old fave. After dinner, we went back to Ebeth's and watched a movie (ok kinda watched a movie), The Five year Engagement. It is an awful movie with no story line and some real inappropriate parts, we were not fans.  I also got to see Bethany, one of my old roommates. It was good to see her! (side note: Bethany is a rockstar and ran the Chicago Marathon this Weekend!) 

Saturday was a lot of fun! We had a jam packed day, full of activities, with enough activities to last for months! We started our day with coffee, cinnamon rolls and good conversations. Deb taught me how to froth creamer to make my coffee more latte like! We then drove down and met up with Jess at Moody. From there we went to lunch at Chick-fil-a, shopping on State Street and then a movie (another one I don't reccommend: The Perks of Being a Walflower). We then headed up to the Southport/ Wrigleyville area for dinner at Blue Bayou and an improv show at Improv Olympics.  We then ended the night with a little Korean karaoke session at Lincoln Karaoke. We had so much fun belting out some fun songs. 

Sunday was a lot more chill but still lots of fun! It was sad though in a sense because Missy left for home early Sunday morning, before any of us were awake.  She had to get back to Michigan for Choir later Sunday. Katie and I went to Harvest Bible Chapel for Church and then met up with Elizabeth for lunch at Red Robbin (Yum!). We then went and treated ourselves to some delicious frozen yogurt at Red Mango! We then went over to Miriam's house and I got to meet her sweet baby girl Jasmin. She is so so adorable! It was really good to see Miriam, Erica and Eric too. I really miss their little family  and so I was so glad to get to spend a little bit of time with them while I was in town. It broke my heart a little bit when Miriam asked me when I was coming back to Lydia, I don't think she quite understands that I'm not coming back to work there. Saying goodbye to them was hard but it wasn't goodbye rather see you later. 

Later, we chilled and watched some of the Bears game and Ebeth and I tried to teach Katie a little about football. Debby joined us and then we went bowling. Katie had bought a groupon for this bowling place a while ago so we decided to go! bowling is one of our little group of friends' favorite things to do. We seem to always go bowling when we are together. Bowling was super fun, only part missing was the boys to buy us ice cream after we beat them.  After dropping Deb off we  I HAD  to stop and get a Sprinkle's cupcake. I hadn't had one in so long and was really craving one. It was another for old times sake thing to do as well. We used to go to Sprinkles like 1x a week or more while at Moody. 

Katie and I both headed are separate ways on Monday morning. She headed back to Iowa and I headed back home to Indy. I was able to stop by Moody and have breakfast with Abby before hitting the road. It was so good to see her! We went to Yolk, which is delicious! We had some good conversation and just enjoyed catching up. I miss her tons and so I was thankful for our time together. 

Man, it was such a good weekend. I am so blessed to have such great friends that live close enough that we can get together. I hope that we make a point to continue to have these girls weekends through out the years to come. These girls mean so much to me and I  really value our friendships. I am excited to see where God continues to take each of us. 

For the 2 of you that read this blog, please be in praying for each of my dear friends.  

* Debby is starting a new nannying job in Chicago this week

*Missy and her husband Steve are working and also helping in different parts of ministry at their church in Michigan.

* Katie is working in Iowa and also helping with a new Harvest Church Plant in Mason City

*Elizabeth is working at Lydia Urban Academy and Lydia Learn and Care

* Jess is finishing up her final semester at Moody and may be getting a teaching job in the spring

Change

Lots has changed in my life over the last month. I quit my job at Lydia Home/Safe Families and moved back home to Indiana. I am now working for the state of Indiana, department of child services as a family case manager. Going from Chicago and living with 3 roommates in a big house to now living in a tiny apartment all by myself has been an adjustment.

With all these changes, life definitely has not been the easiest over the last couple of weeks. Change is HARD, and anyone who tells you differently is not telling the truth. I am not saying that I am not happy with the change, its just that I'm not going to lie, it has been tough. For me change is always a bit rough. Packing up my things back in Chicago was so hard for me, when all of my things were packed and loaded up, it meant that I was done there and that chapter of my life is now closed. It literally took my best friends and mom to come and give me that extra help and push to pack all my stuff. For me packing my things was more than just packing a bunch of stuff, it was packing the last 5 years of Chicago memories into boxes. Chicago would no longer be my home. All this was HARD, I tell you.

After getting back to Indy, I am now trying to settle in here and these changes are hard as well. I started a job working for the government which brings its own package of good & bad. I am also working in a very secular atmosphere which caused a bit of shock factor at first for me. I am also trying to figure out all the details of moving to a new place (though Indy is not totally new). Should I find a church to go to in the mornings before NF so I can get connected with people my age? How do I meet more people my age? How am going to balance work, school and everything else? How do I balance hanging out with my family and all the little sibs?

I am not writing this to say I am not happy, honestly I am so happy to be back in Indy and I really am enjoying this new job. I just have been challenged recently to really trust God. Tonight as I was working on some stuff around my apartment, the song Take my Life came into my head. I love this song because it challenges and reminds me that everything I do should be for the glory of God and His work. It is not about me and what I can do and am doing... 
Ever Only All For Thee

Saying Goodbye Stinks :(

On Sunday I had to  say goodbye to two of my best friends as they both moved away from Chicago.  Katie moved home to Iowa and Missy moved to Michigan . After 4 years together here in Chicago, we parted in the parking lot of my house, not exactly knowing the next time we would see each other.


As we all gathered in the parking lot on Sunday, for one last goodbye hug, my heart sank and tears streamed down my face.  Two of my dearest friends were getting ready to drive off, hours away in opposite directions. No longer, would there be the end of summer to look forward to everyone being back in Chicago. No longer would they be just down the hall, in the same apartment, right up the stairs or just down the interstate from me. I will miss these girls dearly, but I am so excited for what God will do next in their lives.  I am so excited to see how our friendships grow, even being hours apart. I know these are friendships I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I am already, ready to plan trips to Iowa and Michigan.  Ready, to make some awesome plan where in some crazy turn of events, we all end up within 5 miles of each other again.


I am so thankful that God brought these girls into my life four years ago.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”  C.S. Lewis

Finding my place here

11 months ago today, I started my very first "real" job. I started working at an organization I loved, after volunteering there for 3 years before that. I thought that life was perfect and I was well on the road to happiness and loving my job.  I had a great job lined up, housing included, I'd be living 10 minutes away from all of my best friends, living in a city I loved, having independence from my family but still being close enough for visits. Watch out world, I was going to have the life I wanted!


....HA! These last 11 months have been far, far, far from the rainbows and butterflies life I thought. They have been so hard and so just real. Work in the real world is hard, figuring out living on your own is tough, spending an entire summer in a huge house all by yourself (well, except the crazy family in the basement) is lonely and sometimes scary, trying to find my own real church home is really stressing,  learning that you  aren't cut out to do every little task is humbling. Figuring out how to have my own walk with the Lord without Chapel and classes and friends to always be lifting you up and spuring you on in your Walk was more than I felt like I could handle.


I have spent the last 11 months threatening to throw in the towel, pack up my bags and move to the safety of home. I was ready to run home to my mom's open arms and forget about this hard thing called real life. I have spent the last 11 months trying to figure it all out on my own so I would be happy. Forgetting all along that that was not what I was called to. God has called me to something so much bigger than myself and it takes me dying to myself daily and giving in to his will. 


This week I felt like God really pounded that into my heart and for the first time in the last 11 months I truly felt like I was content with where I was and what I was doing. When it became not about what I wanted and what would be good for me, I found my love for the people again. I found my desire to be serving in ministry and my desire to serve God. 


I feel as if, for the first time in the last 11 months, I am truly happy and truly enjoying where God has me in this moment. I am so thankful for all of the life lessons that I have learned over the last 11 months and look forward to the next 11 month as God continues to teach me to become more about him than me. I am learning about Grace and forgiveness and what they looks like in my life. I am learning about just how much God loves me. 

Happy 15th Birthday William Noah!

Today is my little brother Will's 15th birthday. I can't believe this kid is already 15, he has grown up way to fast! Will and I have always been close and even more so now that he is getting older. We are so much a like and I see so much of myself in him (the good and the bad). Will, like all of my siblings, has a special place in my heart and has taught me so many lessons in life. Will started teaching me from the first day he was born. Will was born with a heart defect where the valves that pump the blood in and out of the heart were switched and so his blood was not getting the oxygen it needed. From that first day he was born, Will taught me to trust God through the hard times. This was the first major "hard" thing, that I can remember, our little family of 5 (and then Will made 6) had ever had to deal with. For 3 weeks, my little 7 year old self, begged God to heal Will and bring him home from the hospital and during that time I learned to trust God as I had never had to before. This lesson repeated itself over and over again with Will being the means to which God taught me to trust him. Like when Will broke his leg very badly and was hospitalized the night before my graduation, or when he had what was thought to be tumor in his mouth.Over and over again I have learned to trust God more, because of Will. I am so thankful him and his love for God and others. I am so excited to see what God has in store for him as he becomes a Godly young man.

 

Happy Birthday Little Brother!!!!